Over wine the other day, though, a group of sister-friends and I had a chit-chat about one segment of the book that we felt worth exploring: the three-month rule.
Harvey has notoriously (or victoriously, depending on who you ask) stated that women should wait at least three months before sleeping with a new partner.
There is nothing wrong with wanting to feel secure about such a thing, and many women with fewer dating and sexual experiences find making and negotiating “wait” rules helpful.
To them, cementing rules make them feel powerful and in control of their bodies and their sex. Many of the women in my circle, who share my age and experience, completely dismiss the ninety-day dating rule as pure and utter bullsh*t.
Can I text him after the first date or do I have to wait for him to text me? And so I would turn to my friends for advice -- to call or not to call, to share my feelings or to play it cool, etc.
And what I found is that everyone has something different to say.
I won’t go into one of the many rants I have stored up on how damaging the mere premise of Steve Harvey’s Think Like A Man, Act Like A Lady book can be to women attempting to maneuver through already confusing dating and relationship rituals.
That ship has sailed, we all watched it make its bon voyage.
I'd gotten to a point months ago where dating felt like a grueling chore, and I can't say I ever really had fun while I was dating.One friend says do this, another friend says do that -- yet nothing seemed to align with how I was really feeling.One day, after about four dates with a guy, I felt like things were going well and assumed they were moving forward.I dated a banker and a farmer, a cowboy (not kidding) and a meditation instructor.I even dated a guy who was already married once and had kids from his previous relationship.I started dating on and off back in December, but found it to be tedious, exhausting, challenging and for a lack of better words, completely emotionally brutal.