Jokes dating dirty

Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided; movies which feature chainsaws are okay. My daughter claims it embarrasses her to come downstairs and find me attempting to get her date to recite these eight simple rules from memory.

I�d be embarrassed too�-there are only eight of them, for crying out loud!

They agree that they would go deep-sea fishing in Southern Florida.

They get there and get all settled in, then the next morning they get up early and head for the boat.

And, for the record, I did NOT suggest to one of these cretins that I�d have these rules tattooed on his arm if he couldn�t remember them. Why do you think I came up with the eight simple rules?

(I checked into it and the cost is prohibitive.) I merely told him that I thought writing the rules on his arm with a ball point might be inadequate-�ink washes off-�and that my wood burning set was probably a better alternative.

Rule Four - I�m sure you�ve been told that in today�s world, sex without utilizing a �barrier method� of some kind can kill you.The next morning on the way to the boat, they see the same guy at the same spot fishing.Again, they go out for 8 hours and when the get back they see the same guy at the same spot still fishing. When they get back to the hotel after their third and last day of fishing, they decide that since they don't have to get up in the morning, they would go to a local bar.We see you every morning at the pier." The guy replies "No, I'm here on my honeymoon." One guy says "Honeymoon!?Don't you think you should be with your bride making love instead of here drinking? " One guy says "Well, you could at least be alone with her, cuddling or SOMETHING! " One guy then says "Man, have you even kissed her yet? " One guy then says "Gonorrhea, diarrhea, pyorrhea!Let me elaborate: when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I WILL kill you.

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