This is why in addition to the BPD partner getting treatment, it's a good idea to seek out marital or family therapy to keep the marriage, relationship and family functioning intact. Nine months into their relationship, he and his girlfriend have moved past the early days of butterflies and uncertainty and have begun developing a true bond, the kind that begins to take hold when you become familiar with each other, learn each other’s rhythms, and begin to truly see each other.Of the research done, one study found a positive link between the severity of BPD symptoms and marital violence and distress.This means that the more severe a person's BPD symptoms are (for example, fear of abandonment or intense and frequent mood changes) the more likely there is violence, in addition to overall trouble in the marriage.One way to judge whether being married to a person with BPD can be successful is by the divorce rate.Using this as a measure of “success,” it appears that marriages that consist of a partner with BPD are no more or less successful than the average marriage.By an average age of about 40, the divorce rate for people with BPD is around 35 percent, and this is comparable to the divorce rate for the average U. In fact, only about 10 percent of people with BPD get remarried by around age 40 which is nearly half the national rate of remarriage.
Furthermore, some experts believe the quality depends a great deal on the personality of the non-BPD partner.
However, this does not take into account the quality of the marriage or the satisfaction of the partners.
Unfortunately, there is limited hard research data on the quality of marriages in which one person has BPD.
But it is nowhere near as hard as being the one with BPD.
My girlfriend is not a burden, her BPD is.”Paddy’s story isn’t a fairytale romance.
“There have been times where I have been so infatuated and so blissfully happy that I felt like running away with her,” he says.