Try to have money available—like ,000—within days. "It not only 'showed him;' it also showed the wife—and their children—what life is like on a lower salary," she says.
Simplybadmouthing your ex is likely to hurt your kids more than your husband, even if you don't think they hear or read what you say.
"It amplified the concept of a broken home." She wishes she had made plans to see her mother or a friend—or taken a vacation—to take her mind off spending the holiday by herself.
So make sure you stay busy during that difficult time of year.9.
"I asked for, and got, a check 30 days after my husband left," she says.
"Too many men dodge their financial responsibilities, so waiting for that first alimony check is unwise. Newman says that a client of hers told her husband's boss about his affair with his secretary and ended up getting him fired.
To get things back on track, Doares suggests addressing issues as a family so everyone can talk about the changes together.
Some of those stigmas still exist, she says, so remember that divorce doesn't define you.
"Divorcing just means that the relationship didn't work out," she says.
If you and your husband have complicated combined assets, you may need additional pros.
Kira Brown, 34, from Phoenix, AZ, owned a business with her ex-husband and wishes she'd also hired a financial planner for help negotiating her settlement.3. According to financial analyst Sandy Arons, a divorcee herself, 40% of divorce proceedings are about money.
So get as much information as you can about your shared accounts to be well-informed before court.