The American way is loud and even arrogant at times. Call it the revolving door or hedging – there’s the idea in the American approach to dating that there’s always something better around the corner.With European men, if there’s mutual interest, they keep seeing that person and don’t keep hunting for better options simultaneously. Nor will they freak out when discussions of commitment or future come up.I’m not to judge that one is better than the other, and mind you, my observations are based on my own experiences as well as a group of women I’ve interviewed in the last two years.The below is a list of some of the themes and commonalities observed.In fact, you may be experiencing attractions of deprivation, where you try to recreate the issues from childhood in your romantic partners.As a young, single British guy crossing the Atlantic for a career in the United States, I was extremely curious about the dating life that was in store.
There are a set of ritualized rules that are abided by in American dating culture, and if you don’t play within them, you are labeled as desperate or needy or undesirable.This breeds a generation of men who have habits of looking after their own needs versus the needs of the collective. Europeans don’t get their sexual education from porn. European men have a different perception of beauty.For example, in the Netherlands, comprehensive sexuality education starts at age four. Instead of cruelly dismissing someone by disappearing, they communicate that they are not interested. As the media in Europe is a lot more heavily monitored, Europeans grow up surrounded by media and images of women who are curvy, comfortable in their own skin, and sensual (versus overly sexualized).We must take a look at who we are drawn to in the first place, and why.If you keep attracting (and are attracted to) men who are emotionally unavailable and who treat you poorly, then it really doesn’t matter if your dating prospects are from France, New York, Vancouver or Mars – the shift needs to occur within you first and foremost.Then these boys grow up and are exposed to the opposite sex in an abrupt, often sexualized way. This is definitely seen in how they treat not only women, but everyone around them.